The Fallacy of Closure
The essay deals with our own personal tragedy but I believe some human experiences contain universal feelings and the death of a young person is one of those experiences. I make it a point never to say to someone, “I know how you feel,” because I don’t and I can’t simply because everyone deals with grief and pain in his or her own way.
Calling “closure” a fallacy is true in so many ways. The definition of closure a finish, an end. With the death of our son, we did not want closure because we didn’t want a finish or an end to his memory. Here is the last paragraph of the piece I mentioned. I believe it applies to how people who knew Stacey feel about her death as well.
“Pain and grief do subside over time. However, the word closure does not describe what has happened since that weekend. We have not pulled a curtain across the past nor do we avoid looking in life’s rear view mirror at memories that are painful and memories that are joyous.
Love will trump closure every time”
Please, let’s not pull a curtain across the past. Keep Stacey’s memory alive by keeping up the pressure to put her murderer where he/she belongs.